A review of the book “Future Family” by Ana Hoffmeister is necessary because it makes the family appear in new splendour and she is the author in our book project “The Renaissance of the Family“.
The novelty of Ana’s book is the basic element: description of the everyday situations of families with very different biographies and challenges. All these descriptions have one clear thing in common: the family as a formative place for life and as a support in need.
The guideline of this review is formed by some quotes from the book, which in my opinion could not be more apt.
“Family is still the place where the most important questions of life are answered: about one’s own origin, identity and belonging.”
Yes, family shapes the immovable characteristics of life: father, mother, place and date of birth. This imprint gives us support in all the dynamics of life: moving to another country, changing our name after marriage, etc. Psychologists have realized that these roots give us strength to survive in the face of adversity.
“Family is the place where we can see how the past shapes the present and how we can shape the future from the present.”
And again, a profound sentence. The parents shape us and we shape our children. This gives the family a continuity, a tradition, and – as mentioned above – the identity.
The question arises, is family still relevant for all of us? Ana provides a clear answer: “Family is the most important thing in life for 91% of parents of underage children in Germany – even before friendship and career! Family also enjoys a high priority among the younger generation: For 57% of 14 to 29-year-olds, it is their own family that gives meaning to life.”
All animals in the world grow up in one family. Depending on the species, they separate early or rather late. But we always take the first steps in the security of the family – mainly in the care of the mother. And it’s no different for us humans, even if some don’t want to admit it. According to a study by INSA, 70% of children see something positive in the family. Ana writes: “We get through crises better with a family than without”.
Families have faced challenges at all times. Even today, in a postmodern affluent society, there are new challenges. Therefore, Ana asks the question: “Will families be strong enough in the future to be able to bear further burdens?”. The answer is yes, but not all families and not all burdens. The transformation from an agrarian to an industrial society meant giving up the 3-generation families under one roof in the 19th century. As the labour market becomes more dynamic in the 20th and 21st centuries, the family is put to the test: weekend marriages, children go to school elsewhere, etc.
What image does the family have in public? Ana provides an answer: “In public, family is rarely seen as an enriching and vital factor for the future of society.” And this despite the fact that it forms the backbone of society. How does this contradiction come about? On the one hand, possibly negative experiences in one’s own family, plus life plans with a highly individualized character, the emancipation of women from the ancestral role of mothers, the influence of the media and the political framework conditions. In the following quote, Ana reminds us that “Family makes society strong. Family is the backbone and the future. This is where values are first formed, passed on and lived.” Ana then explains the purpose of her book “The diverse personal insights in this book are embedded in the overarching question of how we will shape family, work and life in the future. How we can live together, who is part of our family life, how the status of family in our society can change and what it takes to do so”.
Then the author recalls an important insight that we often forget: “One thing I can say especially from the experiences of the past three years: Family still seems to be the authority to which you can not only ask for unconditional help in an emergency, but also expect it. Actually indispensable”. Yes, from personal experience I can only confirm this.
In the Western world, the trend has become firmly established: to marry late. And so Ana comments: “If you don’t have a child yourself until you are in your late thirties, everything has revolved around you for almost forty years. Of course, it’s especially difficult to change when a baby suddenly turns your whole life upside down and is hungry at two in the morning.” Psychologists have found that mid-twenties is the best age for parents and children, because of the nervous system.
Then Ana also mentions negative aspects that can arise in family life: tensions, differences of opinion, friction. But I am of the opinion that these shape the character and prepare for later confrontations in life.
Ana grew up in a 3-generation family. Therefore, she addresses the topic of grandparents: “Today, the togetherness of generations hardly takes place by chance, but must be consciously organized.” In the famous film “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” with Johnny Depp, the positive effect of the multi-generational household is vividly demonstrated.
The author wants to limit this contact between the generations not only to the family environment, but also to the professional sphere: “In professional practice, too, conscious and deliberate encounters between different age groups are needed. New approaches such as reverse mentoring help to promote encounters and exchange between young and older employees.” To be honest, I don’t know any different. We have always had that with companies when they are not start-ups. In the companies I was allowed to found, it was clearly different. There were mainly representatives of the GenZ at work.
We would like to conclude this review with another quote from Ana’s book: “My gut feeling tells me: “Whether grandparents are part of the compatibility solution and whether they are integrated into the family is not only a question of their time availability… It is a question of family culture and the cohesion of the generations.” Yes, it is a question of understanding between parents and grandparents, but also of physical proximity. The contact between grandchildren and grandparents is an enrichment for both, as long as the grandparents do not interfere too much in the upbringing of the grandchildren!
Conclusion: The book is more than worth reading. It is “a must have” for me. Congratulations to Ana!
Link to the book: https://www.amazon.de/Future-Family-Familien-Impulse-Vereinbarkeit/dp/3426217511
#familyvalued #renaissancederfamilie #anahoffmeister